Frans Moormans, Dutch
Thanks To His Father, Henry’s Attempt at Romance Was Cut Short. But Don’t Feel Too Sorry For Him. Back in the 17th Century, This Was Considered Third Base, 1867
Oil on canvas
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Info about this artist can be found at, or pointed to by links in, his Dutch Wikipedia page (Google translated if necessary).
/// In Nel’s parlor Matheeus would stand,
to try winning the young lady’s hand.
Watching, off to one side,
was her servant, who spied,
ready to appear, should she command.
/// Yes, The Courtship was odd from the start.
Mat did not wish to win the girl’s heart.
It’s her hand that he treasured.
With that hand she had pleasured
Matheeus; her skill was an art.
/// Many carnal techniques known to Nel
gained her fame, and had served her quite well.
At her touch suitors smiled,
with no risk of a child,
and her servant, who watched, wouldn’t tell.
/// Nel was practical, no prudish snob.
She knew how to make hearts (and more) throb.
Her long-term marriage plan
was to find the best man.
It was handy she’s good at the job.
/// One big reason for Nel’s popularity
is how soon she shows familiarity
towards the men she holds dear,
and their praise is sincere
for her manual kind of dexterity.
/// That men seek Nel’s hand doesn’t suggest
that they somehow reject all the rest.
When she locates the best,
he will see her undressed,
and she’s confident he’ll be impressed.
/// Christian loves Roxanne, but he can’t reach her.
Cyrano’s his behind-the-scenes teacher.
They’ll be “doing the nasty,”
but, it seems rhinoplasty
has cut short Cyrano’s famous feature.