William Henry Bartlett, English
“Okay Darling, Just So We’re Clear About Our Agreement: You Don’t Have To Help Me Row, and I Don’t Have To Help You Pay For College. Deal?,” 1880
Oil on canvas
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/// Young Miss Hester reluctantly brought her
“sibling” Rhoda to row on the water.
Though she longs to resist her
so-called (sinister) sister,
the child blackmails: “I’ll tell I’m your daughter!”
/// At fourteen, Hester, hiding her girth,
with her Ma’s help, in secret gave birth.
To the world Ma avers
the new baby was hers.
Family honor’s a thing of great worth.
/// But the babe grew up pampered and spoiled,
while poor Hester shunned boys, feeling soiled.
One day, Hester was crying.
Rhoda hid nearby, spying.
Soon the whole cover-story was foiled.
/// Rhoda used what she knew to compel
kin to cater to her— or she’d tell.
Hester’s cherished pet pup
to her child she gave up,
and then took both out rowing as well.
/// The girl’s petty demands became sicker.
She insisted they let her drink liquor.
Yet not once did she bother
to ask “Who is my father?”
(Oddly, Rhoda resembled the vicar.)
/// Two girls left in that boat; one returned,
but what happened, the town never learned.
They discovered drowned Rhoda
(in a searchlight she glowed). A
dark suspicion in some people burned.
/// Nasty rumors from gossips in town
implied Rhoda was brought there to drown,
and that what Hester did
was to murder her kid.
Here’s the real way the whole thing went down.
/// Rhoda ordered her “sister” to take
the boat halfway, midpoint of the lake.
Then she stood, picking up
Hester’s cherished Pug pup,
but it struggled and made the boat shake.
/// The child Rhoda was evil, indeed
she may even have been “The Bad Seed.”
She was so jealous of
Hester’s sole source of love,
that she’d kill out of envy and greed.
/// Hester watched as her sick secret daughter
hurled her dog far out into the water.
This act capsized the boat.
Heavy clothing can’t float.
The potential was there for mass slaughter.
/// As it happens, the vicar, Tim Dale,
was out on that same lake for a sail.
He had heard the pup yelp,
splashes, then cries for help.
He must save them, but feared he would fail.
/// Tim knew both girls, for he was their vicar.
His parishioners sometimes would snicker:
“Rhoda, red-haired and pale,
looks just like Reverend Dale.”
(Years ago he’d plied Hester with liquor.)
/// In the meantime, the dog, who swam well,
made his way to where both the girls fell.
Heard his mistress’s voice,
then the Pug made a choice,
and pulled Hester up by her lapel.
/// Tim arrived, but for Rhoda too late.
When she fell the boat’s side hit her pate.
When her body was found
none knew how she had drowned.
Questioned, Hester and Tim said ‘twas “Fate!”
/// Sadly, very few mourned the dead girl.
They know Hester’s love child was no Pearl.
Still some gossiped and lied
that they knew how she died.
Every small town has many a churl.
/// Back at church, Vicar Tim Dale confessed
to the parentage many had guessed.
But did Hester love Tim?
Would she end up with him?
Maybe some day we’ll find out the rest.