Eduard Kurzbauer, Austrian
“Yes, Fred, In Retrospect She Probably Should’ve Said ‘Spoiler Alert,’ But We Naturally Assumed You’d Already Seen the New ‘Star Wars’ Movie,” 1874
Oil on canvas
Follow That Is Priceless on Social Media and GoComics (the Link button):
Click to Follow This Blog or Share This Masterpiece:
Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (Google translated) and here (Google translated, click ADB under his name), perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated German Wikipedia page may have more).
/// The whole clan had reacted with joy.
Daughter pals with the town’s richest boy!
Though she’s barely teen-aged,
soon she could be engaged,
(and if not, Pa would think of some ploy).
/// Some time passed and she now dates her honey.
Daughter loves that he’s handsome and funny.
He’s polite, treats her nice,
but her father’s advice:
“Reel him in now, we can’t lose his money.”
/// On A Turbulent Engagement Day,
Papa vows that the young man will pay.
He’d have asked for her hand
had things gone as Pa planned,
but she’s NOT in a family way.
/// The girl’s father was feeling dejected.
Things had not gone as he had expected.
Though she wasn’t “with child,”
her young man simply smiled,
but by HIS folks the match was rejected.
/// The rich father was nearly as bad
as the girl’s scheming, money-mad Dad.
“She won’t feed at my trough,
so I’m cutting you off!”
Yet, the couple was secretly glad.
/// Both were done with conniving and lies,
so they each severed all family ties.
As the turbulence ended,
their connection was mended.
They eloped, having said no goodbyes.
/// True, this day’s “stormy” not just from weather,
but for some other cause altogether.
It would seem, (I am guessing),
her Dad won’t give his blessing.
Did he catch those two kids in the heather?
> or <
/// Though, to keep all mouths shut, there’d been pay,
that old scandal had not gone away.
His fiancée retreated
when she heard he had cheated,
on that dark STORMY Engagement Day.
> or <
/// His big belly was built by the beer
which he’d guzzled down year after year.
Making things worse, he’s dressed
in a day-glow red vest.
That’s because he’s the crossing guard here.