Albert Edelfelt, Finnish
“I Told Him I Was Done Sneaking Around and That He Had To Tell His Wife About Us. And Well, He Still Won’t Budge on That, But He Did At Least Agree To Tell His Other Mistress. Baby Steps, Right?” 1884
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived if necessary), here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, here, and here (Google translated), perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated Finnish Wikipedia page may have more).
/// These two girls meet each day at eleven
for refreshments— it ought to be Heaven.
But they never agree.
One wants coffee, one tea.
Each thinks, “I am a full TEN; she’s a SEVEN.”
/// These ”Elevenses” should be for friends,
but each girl, when she speaks, condescends.
Here, one-upsmanship rules
as the beverage cools,
and their rivalry somehow transcends.
/// Morning coffee here comes from Brazil,
and the tiny cups might overfill.
So, each girl on her lap
has a sheet as a nap-
-kin, to soak up whatever may spill.
/// From eleven to noon is their “me time.”
(They are wealthy and have too much free time.)
So they sip while they snack,
trading “knives in the back.”
When they’re done, it’s four hours until tea time.
/// Albert earns money from artwork sales,
so the style he developed prevails.
He painted these lasses
while not wearing glasses;
that’s the reason we see few details.
> or <
/// “That barista you flirt with is cute,
and well worth your immodest pursuit.
But do not ask that he
give you coffee for free.
That would make you a (cheap) prostitute.”
> or <
/// Two girls meet in a calm public place,
(where an outburst would lead to disgrace).
They’ve been lovers since school,
but, in time, passions cool.
Breaking up should be done face to face.
/// Her café order’s the most absurd
the barista here ever had heard.
It takes so long to say
she gets served the next day:
“I would like a quad long shot, half caff salted caramel mocha latte, two pumps of vanilla, three pumps of white chocolate, two pumps of hazelnut, half whole milk half breve, no whipped cream, extra hot, extra foam, extra caramel drizzle, extra salt, with light ice, well stirred.”