Karel Dujardin, Dutch
Cattle Thieves Trying to Hotwire a Hereford, 1657
Oil on canvas
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MASTERPIECE #3111
Karel Dujardin, Dutch
Cattle Thieves Trying to Hotwire a Hereford, 1657
Oil on canvas
Info, or links that point to perhaps more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived if necessary), here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated French Wikipedia page has more).
/// The bored shepherd would like to be flirty,
but he can’t until after 6:30
when her milking is done.
He expects they’ll have fun—
since she’s (like her feet) prone to get dirty.
/// They are fortunate, men who have known
any girls who get “dirty” while prone.
When it rains, fields get muddy,
so her soles got all cruddy
walking barefoot through muck on her own.
/// Looking left at the dog, she milks faster;
the dog stares up with love at her master,
who ignores all the fuss,
while the cow peers at us,
with a sense of impending disaster.
/// Being milked by rough hands can be painful.
That’s, perhaps, why the cow seems disdainful.
The milkmaid’s in a rush
to spend time with her crush,
so the cow’s thinking thoughts which are baneful.
/// The young shepherd, (tall, handsome and funny),
from the milkmaid has “borrowed” some money.
The fellow’s been bilking
the young Woman Milking
a Red Cow, (so no marriage for “Honey.”)
/// If you’re kneeling while milking a cow,
that position just will not allow
you to move in a hurry.
If she kicks, better scurry
or the next thing you’ll udder is “OW!”
/// Just because she is down on her knees,
doesn’t mean she does nothing but please.
He must end what’s begun,
getting down upon one
knee. Propose, (or it’s him she’ll next squeeze).
/// Lovesick shepherd does seem cavalier
about standing behind and so near
to a cow who might kick.
Hope he backs away quick,
or he may get a hoof up his rear.
/// One would think that a shepherd who spends
so much time with his four-legged friends
would have caught on by now,
(for the cow, anyhow),
that the methane comes out of both ends.