Anton Otto Fischer, American
Well, Thought Randy, These Certainly Aren’t the Optimal Conditions For an Adult Circumcision, But Here Goes Nothing, 1918
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (archived if necessary), here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page.
/// Their ship sinks in the rough ocean’s spew.
Climbing rigging is all they can do.
Randy promised to Chris
he’d perform a quick bris.
Drowning, Chris wants to die as a Jew.
/// Chris‘s life until now was to revel
in depravity; (not on the level).
But today, with death near,
he is riddled with fear.
He’s heard Jews have no Hell and no devil.
/// One big problem with Chris’s decision
is: Conversion’s not by circumcision.
Chris has got a screw loose,
but what’s Randy’s excuse
to be eager to make that incision?
/// Beware of the nearsighted mohel
who performs as the swelling seas roil.
He may show lots of guts,
but his “unkindest cuts”
might convert this poor guy to a “goil.”
/// When your ship’s been hit by a typhoon
and the whole thing may sink very soon,
a knife just won’t cut it
to keep you safe, but it
might help if you bail with a spoon.