Joseph Franque, French
That Look When You Can’t Remember Where You Parked Your Army, ca. 1812
Oil on canvas
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MASTERPIECE #3019
Some sparse info about this artist can be found here, perhaps in addition to his Wikipedia page (Google translated French Wikipedia page has more).
“All hat and no army…”
/// So Napoléon’s back here again,
shown before Borodino. That’s when
his Grande Armée invaded,
but the Muscovites faded.
The French “won,” but lost thousands of men.
/// Bonaparte has a sad pensive look.
Conquer Russia? A dream he forsook.
It would seem he can’t cope
with the view through that ‘scope.
“Winter’s coming,” and now Nappy’s shook.
/// For a French leader it’s de regueur
he be skilled in the arts of l’amour.
With jeunes filles Nap could score.
Likes his spyglass much more.
He was what we now call a voyeur.
/// That brown horse seems to sense something, too,
with a look in her eye tinged with rue.
Though, in battle, unbeaten,
in retreat she’ll be eaten.
“Pyrrhic Vict’ry”— not easy to chew.
/// See how each soldier’s headgear looks there.
They’ve no “uniform” helmet to share.
There’s a bearskin, a shako,
and a turban. Mistake? No.
Sideways bicornes just Nappy can wear.
/// Bonaparte chose this hat style well knowing
it won’t keep his ears warm when it’s snowing.
But the hat can rotate
(spinning all round his pate),
so it tells him which way the wind’s blowing.
/// You’d think Bonaparte-hatred would cease,
but at times it’s been known to increase.
Students of Foreign Lit
curse and pitch a huge fit
when they’re told they must read War and Peace.