Workshop of François Gérard, French
Napoleon With the Backscratcher He Won Playing Skeeball, ca. 1805-15
Oil on canvas
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MASTERPIECE #3007
Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, here, here (archived if necessary), here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated French Wikipedia page has more).
/// Dressed up in the best France could afford,
he’s the Emperor, feared and adored.
Bonaparte’s at the height
of his power and might.
So, then, why does he look so damned bored?
/// France’s jewelers would all go above
and beyond making rings Nap would love.
The ones he most prizes
they made in two sizes;
the larger worn over his glove.
/// At first Nappy had primped and he preened,
until bowel distress intervened.
Now he must go to war
to, his coffers, restore
and afford to get this outfit cleaned.
/// “Wear our cape!” begged the ermine purveyors.
“No, our silks!” cried the merchant conveyers.
For his Grand Coronation,
Nap heard each exhortation
and he wore them all (in thirteen layers).
/// Coronation robes, lushly enriched
by the gold thread with which they were stitched,
were how Nap should be dressed.
Yet, a half buttoned vest
let him scratch when his abdomen itched.
/// That gold scepter with ivory hand
stands for “Justice” throughout Gallic land.
Though it could scratch his back
should mosquitos attack,
Nappy waved it, conducting his band.
/// Born in Corsica, Buonoparte planned,
to have conquered most of Europe’s land.
Island raised, as a child,
then to Elba exiled.
On Saint Helena died— not so grand.
/// Bonaparte, (like Columbus before him),
was Italian; you couldn’t ignore him.
An historians’ forum
would agree in a quorum
that they both gave us cause to deplore ‘em.