MASTERPIECE #2972

/// Neptune, wearing his Sea God gold crown,
has ensured that his girlfriends can’t drown.
How do mermaids make love?
His are human above.
They’re fish from the thighs, (not the waist) down.

/// Each one is an amphibious beauty,
(led by horse-whipping, spear-toting putti).
As per Neptune’s design
fish and females combine:
mermaids with a vagina and booty.

/// “Knee-down” mermaids would swim with two tails,
(like the logo that boosts Starbucks’ sales).
Are they mutants from nukes?
No, I think they are flukes.
Not half-fish, but all mammal— like whales.

/// Maybe mermaids are hybrid cetaceans.
If so, there would be ramifications.
No more fishlike green scales;
they’d have flukes on their tails,
because humans and whales had relations.

/// Neptune’s brother, the god of the sky
sent two cherubs on wings from on high
for great Neptune’s return.
But he never could learn
how these putti (like bumblebees) fly.

/// Neptune’s orb, an enormous gold pearl,
caught the eye of one half-piscine girl.
He owns all the sea’s treasures,
and will trade them for pleasures
undersea, where she’ll weightlessly twirl.

/// Neptune’s head and face sport long gray hair,
but his body’s surprisingly bare.
Was “godscaping” a thing
of which Virgil would sing?
Did he shave with a shell or use Nair?

/// A sea-centaur (half-merman, half-bronc),
sounds a warning by blowing a conch.
“Neptune’s crossing this bay,
lesser beings, make way!”
(Jove has THUNDER; his brother— a honk.)

/// His small steeds may not be what we think.
They pull Neptune and, somehow, don’t sink.
So, perhaps they were huge
long before the deluge,
but, like woolens, in water they shrink.

/// Each young Nereid (Greek sea nymph’s daughter),
takes precautions, and certainly ought’er.
They all carefully planned
to have menses on land,
because sharks can sense blood in the water.