P.C. Skovgaard, Danish
“Hey, By Any Chance Have You Got a Poop Bag on You? I’m About To Take My Great Dane For a Walk,” 1849
Watercolor
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated Danish Wikipedia page has more).
/// Her nose filtered by layers of cotton,
Gertrude hoped “Out of sight, soon forgotten.”
Ignoring the stench,
her spade dug a trench
where she buried the Dane’s “something rotten.”
/// Some may think that the dog has it ”rough.”
but, that shovel must be big enough.
My advice would have differed
if the dog had been “Clifford.”
Cleaning up after him must be tough.
/// Gertie cannot help feeling dismayed
by the fuss some on Twitter have made
over statements she spoke
which were called “anti-woke.”
Can a spade not be called now, a spade?
/// Farrah hoped with that face scarf she’d tricked us,
but, a hijab like hers won’t restrict us.
Take a peek just behind
Farrah’s mask and you’ll find
there’s a ghastly grin more like a rictus.
/// Is she busty? Or, may I suggest
Farrah ought to be under arrest.
She’s been burying these
terrorist I.E.D.s
and her “bust” is a suicide vest.
> or <
/// There’s a reason she wears that odd rig:
To disguise that her thighs are so big.
And her rump is so wide,
front to back, side to side,
that she’s known as a hipster, ya’ dig?
/// She can excavate just like a man.
Shovel dirt with the best of her clan.
So don’t call her “hippy”
in tones snide and snippy.
Can ya’ dig it? I know that she can.