Johann Heinrich Kosakowsky, Russian
As He Sat Down in the Bathroom Stall, Ed Suddenly Realized That the Only Thing Worse Than a Cold Toilet Seat Is a Warm One, 1877
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, and here (while Chrome can automatically translate, both Google and Bing currently fail). He currently has no Wikipedia page.
/// In the Shelter, Shea showered ‘til dirt-less,
after having been mugged, which had hurt less
than the theft of his clothes
(though they’d bloodied his nose).
Now, he’s homeless and pants-less and shirtless.
/// Kirill’s hairless on arms, legs and torso,
and he only had shaved once before, so
his full beard has grown free,
but what we cannot see
is his pubes are as long (even more so).
/// He awoke, fully nude, on a slab,
with no clothing nearby he can grab.
In panicked alarm
he lifts his left arm
and vainly tries hailing a cab.
/// Who’s this man with a long scraggly beard?
His expression is anguished and weird.
Some, at court, find him sexy.
They say he cured Alexei,
earning just enough “clout” to be feared.
/// This “mad” mystic and monk called Rasputin,
has tsarina in thrall, no disputin’.
So some nobles decide
he be fed cyanide,
and when that doesn’t work, they start shootin’.
/// This was one very hard to kill Russian;
shot and drowned and a nasty concussion.
Thus ‘twas Grigori’s fate
to be victim of hate.
Yet, to History, what repercussion?