Franz von Stuck, German
Mara Had Hoped She and Her Date Might Find an Emotional Connection, But This Creep Was Nakedly Just Looking For a Little Tail, 1891
Oil on panel
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, here, here (has more than his English Wikipedia page on Fridays), here, here, here, here, here, here, here (Google translated), and here, perhaps in addition to what's in his Wikipedia page (Google translated German Wikipedia page has more).
Replaces 11th here link, archive of the webpage pointed to by the 12th here link, if necessary, and archive of the webpage pointed to by the 13th here link, if necessary.
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/// The man’s nude, ’cause his knickers were nicked,
but for mermaids, such garments constrict.
For a bra she could do
with a starfish or two,
or some shells, (as the cartoons depict).
/// But she generally wears not a stitch.
Seashells over her breasts make her itch.
She’d much rather swim free,
(rated “R” not “PG”),
all the better the men to bewitch.
/// First, she crawls from the sea to the strand,
and deposits her eggs in the sand.
For a mermaid to breed
it requires male seed.
He’ll supply it, if she gives a hand.
/// Franz, stuck fast in a hole at the shore,
sought some help from his piscine amour.
In a shallow depression
he’d (excuse the expression)
“shot his load” on roe she’d spawned before.
/// In the sun’s heat, the sandy clay baked,
trapping Franz after passion was slaked.
She did not set him free,
but returned to the sea.
For the “love” she had shown Franz was faked.
/// Girl-fish hybrids can two ways occur.
She might be a mer-maid or maid-mer.
He dislikes to converse.
Holding hands? Even worse.
So, a girl from waist down, he’d prefer.
/// With an oil spill a mermaid can’t cope.
To get clean of the goo there’s one hope:
At the shore find some dope
who’ll bring sponge and Dawn soap.
Then get scrubbed, (but assume that he’ll grope).