Mattheus Ignatius van Bree, Belgian
“Your Booster Seat, General Bonaparte,” ca. 1812
Oil on canvas
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MASTERPIECE #2751
Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what's in his Wikipedia page (Google translated French Wikipedia page has more).
/// Napoléon rode his white stallion
in front of a mighty battalion.
As he reached Amsterdam,
(leaving home his Madame),
the Dutch bribed him with a medallion.
/// The all-powerful leader of France
taught his trusty white stallion to prance
down the long crowded rows
of fat men in white hose,
that were also, somehow, tight white pants.
/// It would add to his stature, indeed,
to be viewed seated high on his steed.
‘Twas a long ride from France
by the seat of his pants,
and his hemorrhoids slowed down the speed.
/// Bonaparte later fled from this scene
(to go visit a nearby latrine),
his pain cut like a knife,
so he put off his wife,
telling her, “Not tonight, Josephine.”