Christoffer Wilhelm Eckersberg, Danish
And With That, Tony Was Officially 0 for 75 With His Pickup Line About Having an 18-Inch Rod, 1811
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what's in his Wikipedia page (Google translated Danish Wikipedia page has more).
Perhaps more info and works by this artist can be found here (archived if necessary).
More info about this artist can be found here (Google translated).
/// These two teens in a “scene of seduction”
came upon a reptilian obstruction.
So she held up her hand
(‘Twas the signal they’d planned.)
The girl feared snakebite might require suction.
/// Her lover, his hair blond and curly,
had the hard task to placate a girlie
so fearful of snakes
(they gave her the shakes)
that soon her lewd mood could turn surly.
/// Cast aside was his paramour role,
he must prove he could now take control.
Before she got hyper
he shooed the vile viper
and it slithered off into a hole.
/// The snake, now in his den, was no fool.
He kept healthy by keeping his cool.
“If I coil up my bod
around that wooden rod,
I can get into Medical School.”
/// Quoting Freud (the psychiatry czar):
“A cigar’s sometimes just a cigar.”
But give me a break!
That stick and that snake?
Both symbolic? You betcha they are.
/// “An assault” thinks the hasty beholder,
and yet, who can say which teen is bolder?
It does seem at first glance
she objects to romance,
but perhaps she’s just letting things smolder.
/// For no matter how much he cajoled her,
and pled that he longed to enfold her,
she knew taking their time
would enhance the sublime,
so she gave him the cold (but bare) shoulder.