Karel Purkyne, Czech
Dentist Wondering Why All His Yelp Reviews Keep Using the Word “Sadistic,” 1860
Oil on canvas
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MASTERPIECE #2149
Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated Czechoslovakian Wikipedia page has more).
/// With a beauty the blacksmith’s enamored.
He tried asking her out, but he stammered.
In the paper he read
she’s about to be wed,
so he filled up a glass to get hammered.
/// Joseph Jech, in his workshop in Prague,
learned of Ajča’s engagement agog.
Bonds with her won’t be forged,
so on fried cheese he gorged
and downed glasses of potent Czech grog.
/// Though he’s big and he’s strong, he’s not smart.
Never learned that romance is an art.
He endures heat and strain,
but emotional pain
feels like anvils have dropped on his heart.
/// On the wall hang some tools of his trade.
They’re expensive and very well made.
Joseph tried to pursuade
her; she couldn’t be swayed.
(That wall somehow made Ajča afraid!)
/// Ajča’s fiancé hand-crafts fine cellos,
and Jech cannot compete with such fellows.
Of his horseshoes he’s proud,
but the clanging is loud,
and he’s full of hot air when he bellows.
/// Jech decided he should diagnose
why the women he liked found him gross.
When the game of love’s played,
(like the horseshoes he made),
you can’t win if you cannot get close.